For most of my adult life, I have fought against my Western female training to underplay what it is I know. This downplaying does me no good and can be perceived in our male-culture workplaces (yes, still) as indicative of insecurity and incompetence. So, I've tried to rid my speech of phrases such as, "well I'm not sure, but I think. . ." or "I could be wrong, but. . ." or making sure I attribute some facts to the source because me saying it just doesn't hold enough credibility.
American men, on the other hand, I find are trained quite differently. They can hold forth on topics with the utmost confidence, never giving sources, and not even blinking an eye when they wade into territory they might not know that much about. In fact, this phenomenon is so well documented that it has been given a name by the great social scientist Carole Mitnick: Male Answer Syndrome.
But here I find myself in situations having to reincorporate these downplaying phrases into my speech. This is particularly true in work situations with people from certain black African cultures. I am in awe of their artistry in prefacing their comments to make sure they do not come across as arrogant or knowing more than the others in the room. One colleague - actually quite high up in the project I work for (Chief of Party to be exact) -- set out to answer a tricky question during a discussion. He began, "Please let me begin to answer this, and then I'll turn it over to my colleagues to answer correctly." Recently, working in a small group, we had the assignment to draw an eye (another story). Two of us quickly said we couldn't and the third graciously said, "Okay, I'll try. Fortunately, we have plenty of paper if I mess up." She then proceeded to draw a perfectly perfect eye.
I have a bit of a headstart over my American male counterparts in displaying the culturally appropriate humbleness, but I will never come close to the artform that my black African colleagues have mastered.
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